Let Go
by Charlotte Grim
Summary: PostRent. Songfic...sorta. Roger’s planning on running out again. Can Mark make him stay?


**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters of Rent and I do not own the song that is used.

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**1.**

_Drink up baby, down  
Are you in or are you out?  
Leave your things behind  
'Cause it's all going off without you  
Excuse me, too busy, you're writing your tragedy  
These mishaps  
You bubble-wrap  
When you've no idea what you're like_

"So, that's it?" Mark asked, sounding hurt and mildly angry, "You're just going to pack up and leave again."

"I can't do this right now," Roger said as he adjusted his bag on his shoulder, "I can't talk about this right now."

"Right, cause it's all about you, Roger," Mark shot at the musician, his voice too calm for the anger he felt bubbling in his chest, "The world revolves around you. Mr. Rockstar! Mr. I've Got Baggage! This is your drama and we're just bit parts. Right?"

"Mark, please--"

"Do you have any idea how much this hurts?"

And Roger couldn't answer because he had no idea. He didn't know what it was like to be abandoned by a best friend.

"You can't even tell me why you're running again," Mark continued, stepping closer to Roger, "Is it cause Mimi's run off again? Is it cause you can't write another song? Or are you just sick of this place?"

"Don't do this," Roger pleaded, hating how hurt and confused the filmmaker looked.

"Why can't you just let me in? There's always a way to fix things without running."

"It's not that easy, Mark."

"Why not?"

"Because the only person that can help me is the person I'm running from."

Outside, lightning stretched across the sky and thunder was heard in the distance.

**2.**

_So, let go, let go  
Jump in  
Oh well, what you waiting for?  
It's all right  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown  
So, let go, let go  
Just get in  
Oh, it's so amazing here  
It's all right  
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown_

The progression of things wasn't expected. No, Roger didn't anticipate any of it. He didn't imagine himself on the couch, holding Mark close to him, lips locked in a heated kiss. He didn't imagine his hands traveling under Mark's shirt or the sounds that his best friend made as their bodies moved against one another.

And as the lightning blazed across the night sky and his left was left forgotten on the floor, he felt himself slip into a state of pure bliss.

It was the feeling of Mark's hands pressed against his chest and Mark's lips against his, trailing down his jaw and neck. Euphoria hit him like a train and it felt like his last hit of heroin. It had the potential to be addicting and it scared him beyond all belief. But for now, there was Mark and his hands and lips and their clothes sliding off.

For now, there was passion and love and no longer the need to run.

**3.**

_It gains the more it gives  
And then it rises with the fall  
So hand me that remote  
Can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow?  
Such boundless pleasure  
We've no time for later  
Now you can't await  
Your own arrival  
You've twenty seconds to comply_

It shouldn't have been so painful for him to reach for the door. Roger thought it was unreasonable for him to feel that way, but as his hand landed on the loft door, his heart gave a painful tug and all he could think about was Mark lying blissfully unaware in bed.

It would have been so easy to leave.

He had to make up his mind. With his jacket in his arms and bag still packed from the night before, he needed to decide if he was leaving or not. The sound of Mark groaning and stirring in bed only made his choice harder.

The guilt would kill him.

With his hand still pressed to the door, he listened as Mark's footsteps came closer.

"So, you're still going to leave," Mark sounded quiet, but far more detached than the night before, "After all that."

"Mark…"

His next words didn't come as the filmmaker spoke, "I've already made myself very clear, Roger." Mark sounded so tired. "I won't stop you if you leave."

And Roger debated in his head, wondered why he was still leaving after what he had just experienced. He wondered if he could really leave and come back unaffected.

With a determined look, his hand slipped from the door and he dropped his bag.

His actions didn't need to be explained as he pulled Mark to him and pressed their lips together. His motives were clear.

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**Author's Note:** The song in use is "Let Go" by Frou Frou. I thought of it as background music more than anything, but yeah... Thoughts? Anything? I welcome all comments. Thank you for reading. 


End file.
